High tech self flagellation
No, not really. The Tour de France will not be gracing us with its presence this year, something which you might think is a bit of a disappointment to us all. And indeed it might be if you’re the owner...
View ArticleNurse! The jacket with the long sleeves please.
So this week I will be mainly having myself sectioned before curling up into a little ball in the corner of a room with suspiciously soft walls and sucking my thumb. Or possibly I should just check...
View ArticleAladdin’s Cave welcomes you. And takes Visa.
Taking no frills a bit too far Camping. Ah yes, back to nature’s basics. Fresh air, the simple life, just you and your oversized hanky getting away from all this stressy modern gadgetry and...
View ArticlePicking the perfect pet
‘Aaaawwwww that must be lovely, all the cutesome little animals!’ people inevitably drool when you tell them you’ve landed a summer job working for the local vet. Honestly, have you all lost any...
View ArticleI like to ride my bicycle …..
Not sure he was into the fat-bottomed girls much either. Actually, I bet Freddie Mercury never got on a bike in his life. Though there’s something appealing about the idea of of the catsuit-clad and...
View ArticleSki scam of the week!
I saw one! I did!! Winter seems to be upon us once again, the telltale signs being ski and board shows in London, online over-excitement following occasional snowflakes spotted on resort webcams, and...
View ArticleFashionista fail
Now, I realise taking the piss out of the national press and its risible ‘lifestyle’ ski coverage is a rather lazy low-hanging-fruit approach to blogging, but in my defence it’s nothing like as...
View ArticleCaning the credit card
It could be said that the tone of recent Guardian-bashing posts has been a tad negative, so to celebrate the end of this summer’s job, the start of holidays (HOLIDAYS! WOOHOO!!) and impending once in a...
View ArticleSki gear for the worried well
I’m this important, me, honestly. I’m not sure what I’ve done to deserve being considered important enough to receive press releases, and I can’t help feeling it’s a bit of a dubious honour, but I...
View ArticleFoot in the crosshairs ……… fire!
All right, that’s enough of that having fun business. Right, you lot. You can stop looking forward to that nice holiday you planned to spend showing friends round your favourite French ski resort....
View ArticleIt’s camping Jim, but not as we know it
Proper camping We all know what camping is about, don’t we – getting out in the fresh air and back to basics, just you and your little tent, roughing it without the clutter of modern life between you...
View ArticleSeasons in the (setting) sun
Official monster raving UKIP loon Time for a spot more Guardian-bashing today I’m afraid – I know I’ve been here before, but when they line themselves up so neatly in the crosshairs it’s hard to...
View ArticleRIP Natives
Sumer. Not supposed to last until November Oh shit, is it winter already? Bugger. That’s what you get for signing up for a so-called ‘summer’ season which doesn’t finish until after the bloody ski...
View Article“Scandaliser est un droit. Être scandalisé est un plaisir.” ― Pasolini, Pier...
“It was a shocking thing to say and I knew it was a shocking thing to say. But no one has the right to live without being shocked. No one has the right to spend their life without being offended....
View ArticleMainstream media cover-up – we reveal the truth!
Me neither. Now, you can call me old fashioned if you like, but I’ve always been under the impression that for information to call itself ‘news’, it has to be kind of …. err ….. new. Ish. Certainly...
View ArticleBack to Blighty
It seems that it’s not in the nature of us seasonal types to have a lot of interest in current affairs, possibly because we’re too busy chasing next season’s job or working out whether we can afford...
View ArticleTweetmageddon!!
Massive snowfall (and I do actually mean objectively massive for a change, not just seems massive because up to now it’s looked like June, a la the past three winters), which can only mean one thing,...
View ArticleSlumming it in paradise
Every seasonnaire in the Alps, past or present, has a horror story or two about grotty accommodation. Old chalets so run down that the most cheapskate of guests would sue at first sight, ‘six-bed’...
View ArticleA letter home
Actually that should probably be ‘home’ since a) like most long-term misplaced people I’m not entirely sure where it really is any more, and b) I’m talking to England here if we’re honest and that was...
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